Whatever your reasons are, you CAN save your marriage. How do I know this? I have seen it a hundred times. In this article I will tell you how to add a new spark to your marriage or relationship. However, I do need to say that I’m not a therapist or an expert, so don’t take my advice as such. I don’t know you and can’t make any guarantees because it takes both people to make a relationship or marriage work.
A few years ago my friend’s husband decided to end their marriage. To my friend, let’s call her Jane; it was out of the blue. Without giving personal details, he was pretty sure of his decision and only wanted to talk about who was getting what and how to get through it as quickly as possible. They had no children at the time, but Jane was devastated, shocked, and a bit angry all the same. Frankly, she never saw it coming and was going about her business thinking everything was AOK.
Obviously, it wasn’t. After her initial shock and anger, she was flabbergasted, not only at his behavior, but how different this was to how they used to be. Sure, they had a few issues, as every normal couple, but in the beginning we were truly happy, and nothing like the situation on our hands now was making any sense.
She didn’t understand what had changed. All she wanted was for him to just change his mind with this ridiculous break up. So, she panicked and went on a crusade on her own to change his mind through whatever measures necessary —threats, begging, desperate, (and embarrassing) behavior. She did everything she could do to get his attention.
When all that didn’t work and he refused to play the game, she kicked and screamed, grieved, hid and stopped living her life. She was just miserable. Yes, her situation was bad and she had no time to prepare, but she was doing absolutely nothing to help herself.
Then her husband demanded she stop the silliness. He presented her with the divorce papers, told her to get her own attorney and the whole thing would be final in 30-60 days, according to him.
Well, that woke her up. She realized her tactics weren’t working. She had a month or two to try something new or to just stop this nonsense and move on with her life. She decided to do something for herself to get out of the depression.
She had been watching all these TV dance shows like “Dancing With the Stars” and “So You Think You Can Dance”. She had always thought about learning to dance but never did as she felt awkward and like she had no rhythm.
She went online and found a studio near her to sign up for dance lessons. She liked the idea of ballroom so she took some ballroom classes. After only a couple of lessons she realized it wasn’t so hard. She liked it and kept going back. She got attention from here instructor as well as the rest of the people in the class and started to feel a bit better and less depressed.
Her husband noticed this change and asked her where she had been going 3 nights a week. What was she doing that made her come home smiling and happy? It was like there was a new spark in her eyes that was not there before. One that looked similar to when he first met her. When she said she was dancing – he laughed and tried to make her feel bad about going.
She tried to not to let it bother her and continued to go, increasing the weeknights of dance lessons so she wouldn’t be at home with him. Then all of a sudden, the tables turned. He wanted to know who was in the class that made her so happy, why this new spark, what about these lessons were so special. He said he was moving out but never actually picked up his stuff and went. He put off his appointments with the attorney and she just never hired one.
This went of for a few months and one day – he accused her of cheating and demanded that he go with her to the class. She was very uncomfortable with this but agreed to take him. He felt awkward and silly the first time but everyone was very nice and the instructor made him feel as comfortable as possible. He felt that he could never keep up with the classes but continued to go “to keep an eye on Jane”.
I think this was all a fabricated story because he continued to go with her and actually enjoyed himself in the process. There was a new spark in their relationship and upon coming home from dance class; they started to make love again. It was as if the intimacy that wasn’t there before, or had gotten stale in some way, was BACK!!!!
Now this happened to Jane as a fluke. It was not planned or intended to “Save Her Marriage”. But it did. Dance is a powerful thing. It will add an intimacy to your relationship that you never knew existed.
http://beahiveballroom.com/ – Studio in Orange County
Dancing With The Stars – Sexy Ballroom Dance DVD set by Louis Amstel from Dancing With The Stars.
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