What is proper Dance Etiquette?

For some people dancing in a social environment means something different than it does to others.  When you go to normal top 40 nightclubs and 99% of the dancing is freestyle or non partner dancing, there tends to be alot of bumping and grinding and close rubbing of bodies on the dance floor. These clubs have been given nicknames such as meat markets, sleaziums or pick up joints because the mind set on the majority of the crowd is to meet, greet and take home someone for the purpose of casual sex.  Its very common in the younger community and with people that are not familiar with "partner" dancing or have any experience with the true "dance" crowd.

When these people switch to partner dancing there is a completely different mindset.  We learn to dance with people that are not our idea of "beautiful".  We learn respect of the opposite sex and that going dancing is not directly related to having casual sex.  We also learn that there is a tremendous amount of fun to be had without being completely distracted with finding someone to take home.

Unfortunately, when these former "bump and grinders" switch over the partner dance scene, they are completely unaware of proper dance etiquette.  Here are a few suggestions that might help if you find yourself being shunned or treated rudely by your fellow dance partners.



I. Asking for a Dance
   A. Gentlemen: In a social environment when you are among people you know, it is easier to ask a lady to dance. Sometimes, eye contact and extending your hand is good enough.  This  may not be as easy to when you are in a new environment with people you don't know. In such scenario, it is best to stick to traditional ways of asking for a dance such as: Can I have this dance? Care to dance? Would you like to dance with me?
   B. Ladies: It is perfectly OK to ask a guy to dance. Don't wait for them to ask you, you may wait all night if there are alot of women at the dance.  Don't forget to smile and check your body language. If you are serious with your hands crossed, no one will approach you. If you make some eye contact and reply with a smile you will have several guys ask you to dance in no time.


II. Saying No to a Dance Request
     A. Gentlemen:  Sometimes your dance requests will be declined by several ladies. Realize that some ladies only feel comfortable dancing with their friends and it may take some time and overall confidence before they start to say “Yes” to strangers. Other scenarios may include being on a date and feeling that they just need to focus on that person; and / or considering that they simply may not like you very much. At any point, be gracious about it and smile. Practice practice practice your dance skills. The better dancer you are, the more the ladies will say YES.
Do NOT ask her to dance repeatedly after she said “No”; trying to drag her into the dance floor against her will; and / or insulting her for declining you. If do you any of these, you are guaranteed a “Hell No” for the rest of your dancing career.
If a lady asks you to dance, you MUST say Yes! regardless if you broke your foot or not! Take it as a compliment and show her a good time. Decline a dance request if and only if: a. you do not do that kind of dance or you happen to be with a date that night.
     B. Ladies: Saying No to a dance request can be interpreted as rejection and it is often a harsh thing to hear for guys with big egos.  But most of all, if other guys see you say no to ONE guy, they will lose confidence to ask you and you might find yourself sitting out most of the songs.  DON'T EVER say no to the first request of the night.  Even if it is Mr. Magoo - Dance with HIM!!!!
III. Entering the Dance Floor
       A. Gentlemen:  Please take responsibility to escort the lady to a spot on the dance floor where it is safe to dance – that is, your entrance is not interfering with other couples that are already dancing, there are no obstacles on the dance floor (chairs, tables, cables) that you can easily hit or trip while dancing, and that there are no spills (from drinks) or broken glass on the place that you are dancing.
       B. Ladies: Allow the gentlemen to lead you to the dance floor. Be sure to communicate any requests or suggestions prior engaging into the dance. If you find a better place to dance, be sure to take his hand and direct him there.

IV. Sharing the Dance Floor
       A. Gentlemen: Always take care of your lady and make sure she doesn’t bump into other couples. Keep your moves simple and always adapt to your partner’s level if she is not as advanced as you are. If you are on a crowded floor, remember to take small steps and keep your eyes open for other couples dancing.
       B. Ladies: Minimize your styling on crowded floors and remember to take small steps. Be patient with your partner if he is not as advanced as you are.

V. While Dancing
      A. Gentlemen: Smile and be personable.  Look your parnter in the eye and avoid feeling her up when doing turns.  No bumping or grinding or rubbing your private parts on her.  When you mess up, smile but don't make her feel it's her fault.  Even it is.  If she isn't that great a dancer, now you know. Wait till she is before asking again.
      B. Ladies:  Smile and be personable. Look your parnter in the eye and feel free to feel him up when doing turns. Guys love this. When you mess up, smile but don't make him feel it's his fault. Even it is. If he isn't that great a dancer, now you know. Wait till he is before asking or saying yes again.
VI. At the End of the Dance
      A. Gentlemen: Thank your partner and escort her back to where you asked her to dance. If you want to continue dancing with her, ask her right after the song ends to make sure she is fine with it. Never leave your partner out on the dance floor. Don't ask for numbers until the end of the night, hold her hand.
      B. Ladies: After the dance is over, thank your partner. If you still want to dance with him, ask him with a smile. But don't take no as a rejection.  Men dance with multiple partners at dance events.  This is normal.  If you bring a date, especially one that is a great dancer, you MUST share.  But only on the dance floor.  At the end of the night, your man will leave with YOU so don't get scared.
Personal Hygiene, Attire and Personal Items

Personal Hygiene –  Please shower before going dancing.  Wash your hands after using the restroom and eat a breath mint after dinner if you don't have a toothbrush handy.  These small tips will help you have more success on the dance floor because people are more inclined to dance with someone that doesn't carry an odor.  And guys, when you do your laundry, put the wet clothes in the dryer fairly quickly and use a fabric softener.  There is nothing worse than a shirt that smells like a wet carpet after a couple of dances.  If you sweat a lot, carry with an extra shirt on your car trunk and change if needed. Also carry with a pocket towel to manage facial perspiration.

Attire – dress for the occasion. If you attend a formal event wearing rugged jeans or shorts, do you think people will want to dance with you? Ladies, wear clothes that you know will not have “wardrobe malfunctions” while dancing or that you do not find yourself making several adjustments every 20 seconds. Guys, if the lady is wearing a strap less top, avoid dips!

Personal Items – Guys do not have so much of a problem since hiding their personal items is easy given the number of pockets in our pants and shirts; ladies, on the other hand, may not have the luxury. Take only what you need to social dance events. The more your bring with you, the more you will have to worry if left unattended.
Hope these tips enhance your dancing experience in social settings. Do you have any other suggestions in terms of dancing etiquette? Please share them with us. See you on the dance floor soon!

Even more fun, do you have some NON Etiquette suggestions.  Share with us a story of what someone did on the dance floor that is just NOT OK.